The Skyrim Movie
Earlier this year, we speculated as to whether a Skyrim movie was in the works. Our opinion hasn’t changed — we still believe that a Skyrim movie will be released sooner rather than later, and that taking the Elder Scrolls franchise to the big screen will be a boon to Bethesda and their parent company, Zenimax. The timing couldn’t be better for such an undertaking. The hunger for well made fantasy films and television shows is arguably at an all-time high. Hits such as The Hobbit and Game of Thrones still leave fans wanting more. The Elder Scrolls franchise is rich in history and lore, and a Skyrim movie would have an extensive amount of material to draw upon. In the hands of a master story teller, a Skyrim movie could truly be something special.
5 Actors We Don’t Want To See
However, with great reward comes risk. One surefire way to kill any interest in a Skyrim movie would be to cast the film with Hollywood “A-listers” whose best work is either behind them, or who wouldn’t be suited for an epic film based in Tamriel’s northernmost province. Here then, in no particular order, are 5 actors we don’t want to see in the Skyrim movie:
- Johnny Depp In our earlier article we talked about how we didn’t want to see Johnny Depp in a Skyrim movie, and questioned as to why he was picked to play Tonto in the Lone Ranger. Sure enough, we were spot-on with our criticism. The Lone Ranger proved to be a box office disaster and the critics were not impressed with Depp’s portrayal of the Masked Man’s best friend. Depp has been involved in too many projects, and his quirky characters just seem like different incarnations of Jack Sparrow. He’s annoying, and would kill a Skyrim movie faster than nailing a Skeever broadside with a fireball.
- Dwayne Johnson (aka “The Rock”) Dwayne Johnson definitely has the physique to be in a Skyrim movie, but an epic film needs more than chiseled muscle. Johnson’s not necessary a bad actor in a “guys movie” sort of way, but like Depp he’s simply been in too many movies (most of them not very good). He’s an action-star that’s been typecast. He’s a lazy choice for Skyrim, and there are other athletic actors in Hollywood capable of swinging a battle axe with greater effect.
- Nicholas Cage Nicholas Cage has starred in just about every type of movie imaginable– everything from comedies like Raising Arizona to action flicks like the upcoming Expendables 3. With such an extensive body of work, Cage is no stranger to fantasy films as well. Unfortunately, his work in Season of the Witch is why we have to add him to this list (a terrible rating on Rotten Tomatoes). As brilliant as Cage has been at times in his career, he just doesn’t have the acting chops to pull off a sword and sorcery action movie.
- Ben Affleck Fans are so angry that Ben Affleck has been cast as the new Batman that they’ve started petitions to have him booted before filming begins on the upcoming Man of Steel sequel. The anger stems from Affeck’s perceived lack of acting ability — most notably his panned performance in Daredevil. The fan backlash if he were chosen for the Skyrim movie would be just as harsh. Can you imagine Affleck fighting dragons in Windhelm? Nope. Neither can we.
- George Clooney Is it possible that the creators of the Skyrim movie would be crazy enough to even consider a role for George Clooney? Stranger things have unfortunately happened (hey, did anyone tell Ben Affleck that Clooney once played Batman?). Clooney is a serious dramatic actor who is also adept at comedies. Not trying to be haters, but the joke would be on Skyrim fans if he were picked for the Skyrim movie. Clooney is definitely a box office draw, but his all-American looks and witty charm just wouldn’t play well in cities like Solitude.
The Skyrim movie needs to be epic. While the five actors mentioned above have starred in good movies over the years, it would be a casting mistake to pursue any of them for Skyrim. So what do you think? Do you agree with our choices? Who else do you think should make the list of actors we don’t want to see in the Skyrim movie?